This video is of multiple men tell what it means to be a man in this society versus what it means to be a man in their own eyes. Masculinity is a set of practices. This normative definition of masculinity is measured against others. It varies by time and place. Depending on the situation, being a man can mean very different things. “If someone looks at you the wrong way, or is testing you the wrong way, you kind of have to do something about it because it is testing your manhood” (0:54). Hegemonic masculinity, this idealized man, is coercive, other men encourage men to become and embody their hegemonic male. He is dominating by expressing power over women and some men. But, of course, the hegemonic man is idealized, unreal, and unattainable. Very few men actually embody this hegemonic man. There is this constant pressure among young males to fit into this idealized man, “Masculinity shouldn’t require men to dominate everything… when I think of a good man, I want to be kind, I want to look out for people” says another guy (1:26).
This video reminds me about the conflicts that arose in the book Dude You’re a Fag by C. J. Pascoe. Men, from a young age, are often learned to suppress their feelings. And they learn this from school and other social institutions. Pascoe saw repeatedly that if a male student was not acting to the standards his peers set he would be called a “fag.” Not all men are trying to achieve hegemonic masculinity, but everyone can be affected by it. This idea that men should be incredibly masculine, to our standards, is creating a world where men are becoming hyper-masculine. One guy said that “I think of a gentleman as carrying yourself with strength, not just violence and aggression” (1:18). This hyper-masculinity often leads to the objectification of women, just like they did in this ad. Because of the cologne this man is wearing, women are falling all over for him. Many of these ideas about how to be the idealized man comes from the media. Constant bombardment of ads persuades males to buy into the products the ad is trying to sell. But once the product doesn’t change them in a desired way, there is more stress to buy into more things when no product will ever change you that much.
There is a more media coverage over woman and the insecurities women have over their bodies, but seldom do you see an ad to teach men to accept their bodies and not be the hegemonic masculine male that some men are trying to get to.
In the video one of the guys recalls the first time that he saw his dad cry and explained how confused and surprised he was to see this side of his dad. I remember the first time that I saw my stepdad cry; it felt uncomfortable and unnatural because he had never showed this side of himself. When men cry they are often put down for being weak when it is a completely natural expression of emotions.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this topic but I especially loved your last point. It's true that we don't tell men to love themselves and accept that the medias portrayal of men is unrealistic as much as we are currently telling women that about women's portrayal. Maybe this is because the portrayal of men , while unrealistic, is still some form of flattery. For example in the picture you provided the man is strong and attractive. So attractive that that poor weak women has seemingly fallen onto him. While both portrayals are equally unnecessary and exaggerated they have vastly different affects on an audience. I like that you brought that point up because its an argument I keep hearing. I think it has some validity but its difficult to compare the portrayal of men with the portrayal of women in the media.
ReplyDeleteKind of in response to what Lexie was talking about and this whole conversation of crying, there's this idea ingrained in our society that by crying, we are "breaking down," or "shattering," or that we are all around showing some kind of weakness by crying - especially amongst men. It's comparable to the stigma around virginity, to an extent, in the sense that something is lost or broken when someone has sex for the first time. For some reason, we have lost the truth that crying is a very natural as well as important human expression of emotion. There is a quote by Alexis Carrel in which he says "we become adapted to the lack of use of our basic human resources and they respond by becoming unfamiliar to us" and I have always believed that crying is one of those resources. It is absolutely a release of emotion - we feel something so deeply and intensely that we feel like we have to shed tears, and that's kind of amazing. But, as one of the men in the video says, when he saw his father cry, he thought it was so strange - crying had become extremely unfamiliar to him, so much so that's is some kind of taboo. Society over time has created such a tight concept around masculinity - strength, power, dominance, etc., but for some reason, masculinity it isn't strong enough to withstand the most human of experiences. A man's masculinity is harmed when he cries - an interesting irony, don't you think?
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