Growing up, I remember hearing a
few of my private school friends talking about family. It is something that I
will never forget. I was eleven years old at St. Jerome Elementary School. The
two friends that I played basketball with every recess were talking about how
their parents were talking about how my family was different than theirs. To
me, I thought my family was perfect. It was my mom, my younger sister and I.
Fast forward to today and I see why it was such a big deal. I was a child of a
black single mother.
Stereotypes
towards single black women have been prevalent in society for the last decade
or so. As of 2015, single mothers head 49% of black families in America. Today, being a black single mom has a
negative connotation. People look down on these women because they do not have
a partner. Society has branded these women as
unsuccessful, lazy, and has a low income.
You hear the stereotypes of “a single black woman cannot raise a child
on her own”, or “single black women are the reason to blame for the state of
Black America.” In the media today, you always hear about the black kids who
are in trouble and from terrible neighborhoods. What is usually always
highlighted is that the young man is from troubled area with a lack of male
figure in his life. The young man is a delinquent
because he grew up not having a mother. The
main argument that I do not agree with is the media blaming single black
mothers as the reason young black me do not strive in society today. My job in
this blog post is to show you all that there are pros to being brought up in a
single black family. Coming from a single black mother household, I am here to
say don’t believe the hype, because not all black single parents are welfare
queens who cannot take care of their children.
So
what can possibly be a pro to growing up in this harsh world without a
masculine figure in your life? I think the biggest pro that came from being
raised by a single mother is that I inherited her strength and courage. She
taught me how to lead and not make excuses for myself just because I was a
little black boy from the ghetto. I learned what hard work meant and I had to
work for everything that I wanted to have. My mother instilled in me that life isn’t
easy at an early age and that nothing will be handed to me. At the age of 13,
she explained to me my first taste of what institutionalized racism was. Her
words were “you have to work that much harder than everyone else because of the
color of your skin.” Those core values that I learned at 11 years old have made
me who I am today.
Another
pro to being raised by a single mother was that I had to mature a little faster
than my friends. Since my mom worked so much, I sometimes had to help out more
than the average pre teen around the house would normally do. I ironed the
clothes, washed the dishes, washed clothes, and even cleaned the entire house
just to help my mom out and make her smile. Today I am thankful for that early
maturation process because I know kids in college who still depend on their
parents to wash and iron their clothes.
The
last pro of many that I have is the most important one. Being raised by a
single mother made me value the concepts of family, love, and sacrifice. Spending
quality time with my mom and little sister one-on-one allowed me to develop a
bond stronger than what I might have had within a traditional family structure.
We went through everything together. My mom was my best friend because we were
all that we had growing up. As a boy I understood how much she sacrificed for
me to have food, clothes, shoes, video games and all the nice things little
boys wanted. She didn’t want me to feel poor or not like my other friends. Rarely
does the media show a single black mother whose children can do right nor a
single black mother who is not a welfare queen. The negative connotations
towards single Black women and their children are very disturbing and
misleading. But I am here to say that Nakia Wallace and thousands of other
single black mothers have done fabulous jobs raising excellent black young men
in this world. The black community hears the stereotype threat that is why we
work so hard to prove the media wrong.Works Cited
Child Trends Calculations. Living Arrangements by Race and Hispanic Origin : 2015. Digital image. Family Structure. Child Trends, 2015. Web. 22 Mar. 2017
This is a great post Markel and I resonated with many points that you made. I experience my mother and also my sister try to break down those stereotypes everyday. I find it interesting that these stereotypes still exist and that in a way they have changed. One stereotype that is growing in popularity is that associated single mothers produce D1 athletes. This reminds me of the fact that you had to mature faster and that you also had core values instilled in you. I know many athletes including myself who want to succeed and make their mothers proud and they carry around that pressure and it either helps them or hinders them.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read. I agree that the media sends out a bad message to the public about single black mothered families. I feel this could be related to the whole caste system idea we covered in class. Growing up I had friends that were black and were raised with single mothers. Being around my friends i learned that the stereotypes i had heard before through the media did not apply to them. It's amazing how the media can have a big influence on people and convince them to believe specific stereotypes like the one in your blog post.I also really appreciated how you mentioned that because of the color of your skin you had to work harder to prove yourself. It shows how even when you might have been placed at a disadvantage you don't have to follow the same pathway societies stereotypes may have placed you in.
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