Masculinity, And Why You Should Adopt It

Living during a progressive time when it is easier for people to break from societal norms than it was in the past, it is almost alarming to see how old-fashioned many values are that people today hold in regards to gender and sexuality. Yes, the LGBTQ+ community has seen much success for quite some time now, which can be seen simply in the fact that homosexuality is no longer classified as a mental disorder. For the most part, as a society we no longer shun two men for holding hands, but their identities as men are usually questioned in lacking a “sufficient” sense of masculinity. Somehow, “being a man” goes well beyond physical anatomy and self-identity, and it is curious to see the ways in which this is seen in our society even today in 2017.

Masculinity is a vastly convoluted concept that has developed over many years into being the standard identity that men are expected to follow. What does this mean exactly? Although many definitions and descriptions of what it means to be masculine exist, the idea behind it is quite a bit more complicated, as there are many factors that go into successfully exhibiting a sense of masculinity. One of the things at the fundamental core of masculinity seems to be an attraction to women, making it so that oftentimes men who find themselves attracted to other men are therefore seen as not being “masculine” enough. Interestingly, a study has noticed that bisexuality has become gendered, in that far more women identify as being bisexual than lesbian, whereas far more men identify as being gay than bisexual. Clearly there are many factors that go into these results, but they are suggestive of a possible larger trend for men to either fully accept or denounce their “masculinity” when it comes to their sexual orientation.

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Even within the LGBTQ+ community, this expectation for people to strive to exhibit masculinity manifests itself in different ways. It has become a growing trend for men looking to hook-up with other men on social media to explicitly list on their profiles “masc 4 masc” or “no fems”, with the intent of warding off more “feminine” men. This is surprisingly divisive for a demographic of people who are already disadvantaged and who seek the respect of others. This may very well be due to the reality of the sexual preferences of certain men, but it acts as a way to deny traces of femininity and to place masculinity at the top of the power hierarchy. It is also interesting to note that men are not the only people who seek to achieve masculinity, which is seen, for example, in C.J. Pascoe’s book Dude, You’re a Fag. Pascoe encounters a girl who identifies as a lesbian who does not seem to encounter discrimination from her classmates because she embodies masculinity in that she dates many girls and rejects traits seen as being “feminine”. If exhibiting masculinity is not only appealing to men but to a small number of women as well, it could lead one to wonder the extent to which there is a sort of privilege associated with it.

One could have hoped that by now we would live in a world that is accepting towards all identities that a person chooses to hold, a world that does not expect them to act a certain way or meet standards in order to belong. The unfortunate reality is that this world does not yet exist, which can be seen in the way that most men, regardless of their sexuality, feel pressured to prove themselves as “masculine” men. It is important to note that the power hierarchy that holds masculinity at the top has almost always been around, meaning that it will certainly take a lot of time before this power structure is updated to fit our ever-changing society. Until then, we will have to do what we can to bring about the day when we are all allowed the freedom to be who we want.