Chances are you've heard these terms before. Educators rant about the helicopter parent and the PTA moms deny knowing of their existence. With a simple google search, you can find a quiz that will let you know if you're a "Lawnmower? Helicopter? Tiger? Attachment? Free Range?" ("Meet the Lawnmower Parent, 2018). Popular blogs such as Cafe Mom provide "11 Ways to Know if You're a Lawnmower Parent". Lighthearted as some of these articles may be, the obsession our culture seems to have with identifying parenting styles and analyzing actions as small as bringing your child's water bottle to school for them, requires critical examination.
(USA Today: Meet the Lawnmower Parent)
The newest phenomenon of parenting is the rise of the lawnmower parent. Dr. Karen Fancher, a college professor, reflects on these parents in her article in which she describes lawnmower parents as, "parents who rush ahead to intervene, saving the child from any potential inconvenience, problem or discomfort," ("How Not to Be a Lawnmower Parent", 2016). Fancher goes further to describe the potential dangers of lawnmower parenting on students, including lacking the ability to grow, minimal personal motivation, inability to make decisions, and the idea that the student can not successfully complete hard tasks on their own.
Many of the educators and bloggers who have commented on lawnmower parenting stipulate that this new parenting style differs from the "Helicopter Parent", who received harsh commentary started in the mid-2000s. While helicopter parents hover around their children, monitoring all activities and weighing in on decisions, lawnmower parents seem to actually go in front of their child to clear difficulties and obstacles before they even appear. However, despite this apparent difference in the blogging world, there is a glaring similarity between the two types of parents: almost all of the articles found in searches for these parenting styles are negative, opinion-based pieces, instead of grounded research. These labels invite us to consider the impact the blogging world may have on the ways parents modify their behavior and interaction with their children.
To further, it is widely known that authoritative parenting is considered to be the most effective way of parenting. It has been shown to result in high self-esteem, success, social skills, and motivation. Surprisingly enough, many of the aspects of authoritative parenting are also reported by so called “Helicopter” parents and “Lawnmower” parents, such as having high expectations, frequent communication, and nurturing guidance.
Many of the educators and bloggers who have commented on lawnmower parenting stipulate that this new parenting style differs from the "Helicopter Parent", who received harsh commentary started in the mid-2000s. While helicopter parents hover around their children, monitoring all activities and weighing in on decisions, lawnmower parents seem to actually go in front of their child to clear difficulties and obstacles before they even appear. However, despite this apparent difference in the blogging world, there is a glaring similarity between the two types of parents: almost all of the articles found in searches for these parenting styles are negative, opinion-based pieces, instead of grounded research. These labels invite us to consider the impact the blogging world may have on the ways parents modify their behavior and interaction with their children.
"These are the parents who rush ahead to intervene, saving the child from any potential inconvenience, problem or discomfort." -Dr. Karen Fancher
The statistics found in research, instead of just blogged opinions, presents a very different, often opposite, view on these engaged styles of parenting. Research done at Indiana University examined data from the 2007 National Survey of Student Engagement to evaluate the impact of high parent involvement on student achievement in response to the critique of helicopter parents. The study found that on average, students who reported having high levels of parental contact and involvement also reported having high engagement, academic gains, use of learning activities, and college satisfaction (Shoup, Gonyea, & Kuh, 2009, pg 19). Another study done by the National Council on Family Relations interviewed parents and students to find that although the media is correct in the idea that parents are reported as having heavy involvement with their students lives, these students also reported having beneficial outcomes in their happiness, academic success, and even later vocational success (Fingerman et al. 2012, pg 892).
To further, it is widely known that authoritative parenting is considered to be the most effective way of parenting. It has been shown to result in high self-esteem, success, social skills, and motivation. Surprisingly enough, many of the aspects of authoritative parenting are also reported by so called “Helicopter” parents and “Lawnmower” parents, such as having high expectations, frequent communication, and nurturing guidance.
(Mind's Eye: Children and Parenting)
There may be some truth in the Café Mom’s warnings through their 11 signs of lawnmower parenting. It is supported that lacking discipline and structure for your child, consistently intervening on their behalf, and failing to teach autonomous behavior (all characteristics of the permissive parenting style) can lead to dangerous consequences for children and students (Robinson, Mandleco, Olsen, & Hart, 1995). However, the extent to which the media has ragged on all parenting styles from the lawnmower to the tiger to the helicopter may be dangerously misguided. It is vital that parents do their own research into parenting styles that have been supported by developmental psychology, such as the authoritative parent, and look more to their own child’s responses to situations and needs than to their favorite blogger.
Across the board, the obsession our culture has with examining, labeling, and dragging different types of parents, is one that must continue to be taken with a grain of salt. Instead of worrying about which type of parent you may be, it is important to continue to stay in tune with your child and with grounded research in order to continue to raise a healthy child in a world saturated by pop psychology and opinionated voices.
Sources:
11 Signs You're a 'Lawnmower Parent'. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://thestir.cafemom.com/being_a_mom/178648/signs_of_lawnmower_parent_helicopter
College Professor Warns: How Not to Be a Lawn Mower Parent. (2017, December 29). Retrieved from https://grownandflown.com/college-professor-warns-lawnmower-parent/
Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y., Wesselmann, E. D., Zarit, S., Furstenberg, F., & Birditt, K. S. (2012). Helicopter Parents and Landing Pad Kids: Intense Parental Support of Grown Children. Journal of Marriage and Family,74(4), 880-896.
Haller, S. (2018, September 20). Meet the 'lawnmower parent,' the new helicopter parents of 2018. Retrieved from https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/09/19/meet-lawnmower-parent-new-helicopter-parents-types-parents-tiger-attachment/1347358002/
Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1995). Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive Parenting Practices: Development of a New Measure. Psychological Reports,77(3), 819-830. doi:10.2466/pr0.1995.77.3.819
Shoup, R., Gonyea, R. M., & Kuh, G. D. (2009). Helicopter Parents: Examining the Impact of Highly Involved Parents on Student Engagement and Educational Outcomes.
11 Signs You're a 'Lawnmower Parent'. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://thestir.cafemom.com/being_a_mom/178648/signs_of_lawnmower_parent_helicopter
College Professor Warns: How Not to Be a Lawn Mower Parent. (2017, December 29). Retrieved from https://grownandflown.com/college-professor-warns-lawnmower-parent/
Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y., Wesselmann, E. D., Zarit, S., Furstenberg, F., & Birditt, K. S. (2012). Helicopter Parents and Landing Pad Kids: Intense Parental Support of Grown Children. Journal of Marriage and Family,74(4), 880-896.
Haller, S. (2018, September 20). Meet the 'lawnmower parent,' the new helicopter parents of 2018. Retrieved from https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/09/19/meet-lawnmower-parent-new-helicopter-parents-types-parents-tiger-attachment/1347358002/
Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1995). Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive Parenting Practices: Development of a New Measure. Psychological Reports,77(3), 819-830.
Shoup, R., Gonyea, R. M., & Kuh, G. D. (2009). Helicopter Parents: Examining the Impact of Highly Involved Parents on Student Engagement and Educational Outcomes.
Talukdar, R. (2015, February 21). Programme on parenting. Retrieved from https://www.slideshare.net/DrRupaTalukdar/programme-on-parenting
College Professor Warns: How Not to Be a Lawn Mower Parent. (2017, December 29). Retrieved from https://grownandflown.com/college-professor-warns-lawnmower-parent/
Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y., Wesselmann, E. D., Zarit, S., Furstenberg, F., & Birditt, K. S. (2012). Helicopter Parents and Landing Pad Kids: Intense Parental Support of Grown Children. Journal of Marriage and Family,74(4), 880-896.
Haller, S. (2018, September 20). Meet the 'lawnmower parent,' the new helicopter parents of 2018. Retrieved from https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/09/19/meet-lawnmower-parent-new-helicopter-parents-types-parents-tiger-attachment/1347358002/
Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1995). Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive Parenting Practices: Development of a New Measure. Psychological Reports,77(3), 819-830. doi:10.2466/pr0.1995.77.3.819
Shoup, R., Gonyea, R. M., & Kuh, G. D. (2009). Helicopter Parents: Examining the Impact of Highly Involved Parents on Student Engagement and Educational Outcomes.
Talukdar, R. (2015, February 21). Programme on parenting. Retrieved from https://www.slideshare.net/DrRupaTalukdar/programme-on-parenting
11 Signs You're a 'Lawnmower Parent'. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://thestir.cafemom.com/being_a_mom/178648/signs_of_lawnmower_parent_helicopter
College Professor Warns: How Not to Be a Lawn Mower Parent. (2017, December 29). Retrieved from https://grownandflown.com/college-professor-warns-lawnmower-parent/
Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y., Wesselmann, E. D., Zarit, S., Furstenberg, F., & Birditt, K. S. (2012). Helicopter Parents and Landing Pad Kids: Intense Parental Support of Grown Children. Journal of Marriage and Family,74(4), 880-896.
Haller, S. (2018, September 20). Meet the 'lawnmower parent,' the new helicopter parents of 2018. Retrieved from https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/2018/09/19/meet-lawnmower-parent-new-helicopter-parents-types-parents-tiger-attachment/1347358002/
Robinson, C. C., Mandleco, B., Olsen, S. F., & Hart, C. H. (1995). Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive Parenting Practices: Development of a New Measure. Psychological Reports,77(3), 819-830. doi:10.2466/pr0.1995.77.3.819
Shoup, R., Gonyea, R. M., & Kuh, G. D. (2009). Helicopter Parents: Examining the Impact of Highly Involved Parents on Student Engagement and Educational Outcomes.
Talukdar, R. (2015, February 21). Programme on parenting. Retrieved from https://www.slideshare.net/DrRupaTalukdar/programme-on-parenting
Growing up in a home and community filled with ‘helicopter’ parents it was hard to acknowledge the benefits of such authoritative parenting styles when every aspect of your life was crafted by your parents. Constantly interceding with school, sports, and extra curriculars kids lives were curated to produce the most successful individual possible. Although I grew up resenting this control and the lack of “freedom” I had in my life it doesn’t surprise me that studies show children who have ‘helicopter’ parents actually end up pretty well in the world. But the culture ‘helicopter’ parents create spreads like wildfire throughout communities and has the potential to be extremely harmful to a child's growth. I agree that the only way these techniques and approaches can be helpful is if they are crafted to fit a specific child's needs. A parent still needs to stay closely in tune with what their child needs. And as much as I wish it wasn’t necessary or beneficial, it seems that having someone who is solely committed to your success and growth does seem to pay off. However, I do believe that ‘helicopter’ parents, and now more recently ‘lawnmower’ parents, need to be kept in check and boundaries must be set because kids also need to know that they are capable individuals who can succeed through their own hard work and dedication.
ReplyDeleteYour discussion of how the research diverges from the popular discussion is fascinating; especially since parenting is one of the topics that generates quite a lot of both. While you highlight blogs, in this realm it can become hard to tell apart what you term ‘grounded research’ from the many books that are written for popular consumption, which may have their basis in research or expert observations while still pushing a certain subjective opinion. The classic ‘good enough mother’ theory proposed in 1953 by Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst, runs counter to the prescriptions of the parenting styles you mention. But in arguing that ‘failing’ to meet your child’s every need or protect them from inconveniences is actually good for them, it still ends up being advice based on a theory. I wonder whether people are more attracted to the reasoning of such theories (rather than by data suggesting that a different style leads to better outcomes) because the Western ideal of parenthood is a conception resistant to being distilled into quantifiable life chances. Also, people consider moms the expert in being moms, so it can be difficult to question the credentials of one’s ‘favourite blogger’.
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